Resilience is Amazing or...?

Take a moment. When was the last time you truly thought about resilience—your own, or someone else’s? Often, we frame resilience as something extraordinary, almost heroic. It’s the quality we attribute to those who weather hardships, thinking that those who endure somehow deserve success more, because they’ve “earned” it through their suffering.

It’s as if surviving adversity makes someone inherently stronger, more capable—and therefore more entitled to the rewards that follow.

But is that the full story?

When we elevate resilience to a badge of honor, we risk overlooking something critical: the very systems and structures that create hardship in the first place. If someone can survive adversity, we ask ourselves, why fix the systems that caused it? This is the unspoken danger of celebrating resilience without acknowledging the larger, often unjust forces at play. Resilience, when viewed as the ultimate personal virtue, can easily turn into a justification for ignoring the need for systemic change.

Resilience Is Not a Solo Journey

Here’s the thing: Resilience is often painted as a solitary pursuit. A quality that you either have or you don’t. But the challenges we face today—whether in healthcare, politics, or society at large—aren’t isolated struggles. They are crises that we, as a community, need to confront together.

When we think of resilience purely as individual strength, we sidestep the collective responsibility we all share. This kind of thinking feeds a toxic individualism that impoverishes us all. It places the burden of survival on one person’s shoulders, while undermining the idea that we, as a society, are meant to look out for one another.

Humans are social beings with individual wills. This creates both tension and opportunity. On the one hand, our desire for independence can feel at odds with the need for community. But on the other, it’s clear that we need to live in communities to get what we need and to learn to serve others as well. Resilience, then, isn’t just about surviving on our own; it’s about thriving together—lifting each other up, even when our personal wills feel stretched thin.

The truth is, no one is resilient all the time, on their own, in every situation. Resilience is not something you summon on command. It’s not a fixed trait. It’s a process that ebbs and flows with the challenges we face. And at its best, resilience is something we share. It’s a collective act—a process of taking turns being strong for each other, of offering care and support in ways that allow all of us to endure, to grow, and even to thrive.

Rethinking Resilience as a Collective Strength

We need to rethink resilience—not as a measure of individual greatness, but as a collective, relational process. The cult of individualism has distorted our view of strength. It’s created a fantasy of self-sufficiency that makes it hard for us to embrace our basic human needs—the need for support, the need for vulnerability, the need for connection. In this worldview, being dependent on others is seen as weakness. But what if we’ve been getting it all wrong?

True resilience doesn’t lie in an unshakable individualism. It lies in our interdependence. It’s in our shared humanity, in the understanding that we rise and fall together, that we find our real strength.

So, as we look ahead at a world increasingly defined by both technological advances and social upheaval, we have to ask ourselves: How do we redefine resilience? Not as something we must possess on our own, but as something we offer to each other, in the midst of shared struggle? How do we build systems that allow resilience to flourish—not just as a survival tactic, but as a collective act of care, compassion, and mutual support?

What Does Resilience Look Like to You?

Take a moment to reflect: What does resilience mean to you? Is it the ability to bounce back from adversity, or is it something deeper—perhaps a quiet strength that keeps you going when everything around you feels uncertain or overwhelming?

Think about the people in your life—the ones you admire, the ones who inspire you. Who stands out as an embodiment of resilience? What are the qualities that make them seem unyielding, even when life throws curveballs? And, more importantly, what can we learn from them, not just about surviving, but about thriving in the face of difficulty?

How Resilient Do You Feel Right Now?

What’s in the mirror

Pause and notice what comes up. Has your resilience fluctuated throughout different chapters of your life? What invisible forces build you up, and which ones wear you down?

When your resilience feels like it’s running low, what do you do? Do you consciously try to restore it, or do you just hope it will return on its own? And what does it mean to be resilient in a world that often feels like it’s constantly testing you?

Resilience in Caregiving: A Balancing Act

If you’re a caregiver—whether as a healthcare professional, a parent, a teacher, or anyone who supports others—what does resilience look like in your role? How do you embody resilience when others depend on you for strength, encouragement, or comfort? Is it something you simply do out of duty, or is it a skill you’ve consciously developed over time?

And when you see resilience in others, especially those you care for, what does it reveal about their capacity to face hardship—and your own role in nurturing that strength? How do you balance the care you give with the care you need?

The Bigger Question: Are We Asking the Right Things?

Should we be focusing more on cultivating individual resilience, or is the larger challenge to reshape a society that demands so much of it? When we praise someone for “bouncing back” from adversity, are we recognizing their strength, or are we subtly excusing the very systems that make that resilience necessary?

It’s the often-repeated line: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Yes, it’s true in many ways—but is there a limit to this kind of living? How many times can we stretch the human spirit before it breaks? What would it look like to create a world where resilience isn’t a prerequisite for survival, but rather something we call on during times of struggle, rather than as an ongoing, constant skill we’re expected to master?